We are probably all in agreement that 2020 needs a do-over, or at the very least we need it to start resembling 2019! This global pandemic has turned many of our lives upside down by changing the way we normally do things. We are learning to adapt and deal with situations that we have never experienced before, perhaps even having to reinvent ourselves when it comes to our jobs or businesses. However, how do we deal with worrying about finances, the difficulty of teaching our kids at home and feeling exhausted in trying to juggle all of our responsibilities; young children having to wear masks and not quite understanding the situation; not able to see family and friends…our all-important support system; and postponing or perhaps drastically changing important upcoming events that one may have started planning last year? In many instances, we may have to go with Plan B, which doesn’t look like a typical Plan B.
For example, it’s common to plan ahead for the possibility of rain on your wedding day and have an alternate space inside the venue but, this Plan B may not work this year as these are uncommon times. We may even have to think of a Plan C as things are constantly changing with this pandemic. These are all thoughts that can wear away at our resolve, lowering our resistance in dealing with the circumstances and can adversely affect our emotions.
So, if we can’t change the fact that we are in a global pandemic that has created many difficult situations, what can we do in order to better deal with it? First and foremost, understanding that it’s OKAY and normal to have these feelings of being overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, sad, and feeling that we are not in control of the circumstances that we find ourselves in. It’s important to acknowledge that we are human and can’t always be superheroes and, that as much as we would like to, we can’t always fix or resolve everything immediately. However, we can also take steps to change how we handle these difficult times that can then lead to positive outcomes.
Shifting our mindset: The way we talk to ourselves has a huge impact on how we feel. If we are constantly telling ourselves that we will never recover from the repercussions of this pandemic; that we will never be where we were financially; that we won’t find a good job; that we won’t have a good holiday, birthday, wedding, or celebration if it cannot be as it has always been or how we think it should be; that we don’t have the support system because we can’t be face-to-face with those we care about, etc., then it becomes more and more difficult to cope with the circumstances because of the constant negative conversations we are having with ourselves. It tends to cause self-doubt and feelings of not being in control, which prevents us from feeling positive and in turn limits our success in finding solutions. It may even cause us to freeze in the sense that we feel so overwhelmed that we don’t take positive steps towards anything.
However, what if we have conversations with ourselves about things that are going well in our lives instead of only focusing on what we don’t have at the moment, perhaps readjusting our expectations a bit as well? It’s not to say that our problems will go away, but, when we change our mindset, we can better deal with any situation, making it more likely to find solutions. It may be remembering that those you cannot visit with us in person are still there and want to be supportive. If you are having to do distance learning with your children, remember that it won’t be forever and you are spending more time with your family. If you are looking for a new job, network as much as you can and tell people you know that you are looking. Also, try to change your expectations of how things “should” be and look for ways to work around it. Come up with alternate plans that still work even though that is not how you originally envisioned it. For example, you may not be able to have the 200 guests for your wedding but it may be your immediate families that will get to share in this special moment. It may look a bit different than you envisioned but can be just as beautiful, just as special.
This pandemic has, at times, called for us to get out of our comfort zone and try something new. When getting out of my comfort zone I always ask myself, “What is the worst thing that can happen if I go ahead with this?” I ask myself this question because it then makes it clear to me that most likely nothing “bad” is going to happen and much good can come of it. If we realize that the worst-case scenario is not really anything that we cannot handle, but that getting out of our comfort zone can lead to positive outcomes, then we are much more likely to take the leap.
Shifting or changing our mindset by thinking positively and focusing on what’s really important is the key to being happier and helps us in finding solutions. It’s important to remember that if we have our health and our family and friends, we can overcome almost anything.
